Any man can feel stuck in life, regardless of social circle, finances, expertise, or capabilities. Societal expectations and stereotypes of what is a “real man” make admitting that they feel low self-confidence or insecurity extra-challenging for men.
But men today are learning to acknowledge the usefulness of personal growth to embrace positive changes in themselves and take new, empowering steps to a better life. This is especially helpful for men over 40 who lack fulfillment and think, “I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.”
To build new goals and overcome the self-sabotage that gets in the way, as a man of a certain age, why not address the “elephant in the room” that can intrude after turning 40:
1. Midlife evaluation
After turning 40, men often reflect on their past, what they’ve achieved and haven’t, their goals, and their next actions. This may well lead to their questioning the direction of their lives. One conclusion is often a feeling of dissatisfaction with where they are now and disappointment about not accomplishing what they had hoped to by a certain age.
2. Unrealized aspirations
If the man’s hopes and dreams haven’t been fulfilled, a sense of stress, frustration, and regret can set in, especially when the individual compares himself to others who may “seem” to have accomplished more.
3. Priorities shift
Values can change over time. What was once fulfilling might seem less appealing at this stage of life.
4. Career dissatisfaction settles in
This is a big one. People feel trapped and dissatisfied in their jobs if they don’t reach a desired position or have work they consider meaningful.
5. Personal growth is on pause
Stagnation can leave a man disappointed in his life, bored, and without motivation.
6. Physical health changes
Anything that gets in the way of overall well-being or health can leave the man who is moving on in life feeling frustrated. This essential element needs to be part of an integrated reanimation so that the saying, “I feel uncomfortable in my own skin,” is not used or referenced, and he finds a way to heal.
As the person who is self-evaluating, are you bottling up these feelings that all is not well?
Are you embarrassed by your personal struggle?
Are you uncomfortable with your sense of vulnerability?
Do you feel stress, anxiety, and overwhelm?
Most likely, for a male in our society, expressing these issues might feel unfamiliar because, since childhood, you were encouraged to be stoic. Or you might feel that sensitivity is a symbol of weakness and not “manly.” But stepping out of your comfort zone may well be one of the best actions to take when you feel unhappy or burned out. Insurmountable obstacles seem like walls, but a life-giving hope can most definitely be found.
So, what is the first step to take?
How can you get over feeling unfulfilled and quickly achieve a state of confidence?
One of the best ways to move in the right direction is to find what my male clients call “that special person to talk to.” As a board-certified acupuncturist and life coach for over 30 years, I have helped hundreds of clients progress from feeling confused and distressed to coming into new states of health, wealth, vitality, and happiness. Expressing worries and fears safely and easily with an experienced someone who “gets you” may be the answer.
As we all know, talking with partners, friends, and family often isn’t comfortable or effective.
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John’s Rescripting Success Story
For any man who feels stress or anxiety or is falling short of his intentions or life goals, please meet John. *The name has been changed to maintain his privacy.
John came to me when he was 45, working in corporate America and burning out quickly. To cope, he stuffed in his feelings, gained weight, abandoned his vigorous self-care regime, and lost the spark in his relationship. Even though his wife supported him, he declined, and years passed before he had the courage to seek help. His fear of looking like a failure, being overwhelmed, and stress caused him to feel stuck and unhappy. He admitted he’d feel embarrassed about his issues if he told any of his friends or family. He constantly said, “I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Please help me.”
John learned about Rescripting, and after the first session, he realized he was acting out his childhood worries in his 40s. He began to see the value of a holistic life coach, and through our one-on-one sessions, he learned how to handle his feelings in effective, mature ways that reflected the competent adult he is.
Within a few months, John resumed his self-care and fitness regime. Moreover, his marriage went from bland to a trip to Tuscany for the couple to renew their vows. Now, his job felt lighter because he embraced a new confidence with an ability to step up to challenges. Recognizing his trapped feelings and unacknowledged gifts and strengths made all the difference.
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If you’re a man feeling stuck in his life journey, please know that your state doesn’t have to be permanent, even if it feels so. Seek support to reach personal growth and fulfillment, prioritize self-care to break free from stagnation, and embrace change as a positive. Progress leads to significant transformation in less time than you think!
If you feel unfulfilled over 40 or know of a man facing financial stress, sensitivity about his lack of achievement, needing more confidence, or feeling overwhelmed, Rescripting is my proprietary method used as a Holistic Life Coach to help men reach their goals quickly.
