Have you ever agreed to something you didn’t want to do to avoid disappointing someone? If that rings a bell, you might be dabbling in the art of people-pleasing. But worry not. Let’s unpack this together and find a way out.

So, what exactly is people-pleasing? At its core, it’s a desire to make others happy, sometimes at your own expense. Sounds noble, right? But when taken to extremes, it’s like giving everyone a slice of your pie and leaving none for yourself. Or trying to control their reaction. Or being dependent on their liking you more as a result.

Why do we do it? People-pleasing is often rooted in childhood. It is a learned behavior to gain love or avoid conflict.  

Have you tried building a sandcastle near the ocean only to have the waves wash it away? That’s the kind of vulnerability many feel deep down. Some try to win approval to protect that fragile castle- but to their own detriment.

The Dangers of Being a People-Pleaser

• Loss of self-identity and self-esteem
• Mental and physical exhaustion
• Relationship pitfalls and strain
• Becoming resentful about the lack of reciprocation
• Not knowing how to truly receive
• Being inauthentically agreeable